Jokes

Medical and Healthcare jokes to make you smile!

Funny Medical One Liners Worth A Mention

Funny medical one/two liners that really caught my attention. I thought it was worth sharing it! Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything! Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem? Patient: What problem?…

Brain Surgery

The patient’s family gathered to hear what the specialists had to say. “Things don’t look good. The only chance is a brain transplant. This  is an experimental procedure. It might work, but the bad news is that  brains are very…

Funny Medical Abbreviations

Hospital lingo can be dead serious, very serious, serious, not serious, jolly, light hearted, funny, hilarious or absolutely insane. Abbreviations and acronyms make it to the top of the list when it comes to medical humour and sarcasm. I can…

Doctor Vs. Mechanic

Morris was removing some engine valves from a car on the lift when he spotted the famous heart surgeon Dr. Michael DeBakey, who was standing off to the side, waiting for the service manager. Morris, somewhat of a loud mouth,…

Medical Record Bloopers

A list of blunders and funny incidents in a medical person’s life: The skin was moist and dry. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (Long fingers?) The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch. She stated that…

The CEO and Peter

The CEO of a large HMO dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter shows him to a lovely villa, wonderful music, great views, full staff of servants, gourmet meals, etc. The CEO says, “This is terrific!” “Don’t get too comfortable,”…

Low Self Esteem

A woman goes to see the psychiatrist about her low self-esteem. She is unhealthy, pale, and obese. After tearfully explaining her predicament, the doc says, “hmm, yes, could you please lie on the floor under the window?” “Now over next…

Surgeon and Drawn Blinds

The patient awakened after the operation to find herself in a room with all the blinds drawn. “Why are all the blinds closed?” she asked her doctor. “Well,” the surgeon responded, “They’re fighting a huge fire across the street, and…

Doctors’ Demands

“Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!” [box…